... it takes place on a cheesy world called PHONDOO... 

The world of Phondoo is a place full of unique and bewildering creatures, deep within the cheese of things.  The seas and skies are swarming with the likes of which legends are made and contribute tales to the Fisherman Chronicles - great books which hold the prophecies of Phondoo.  But the books are in grave danger, for one day strange space beings arrived, great Leviathan Worm beasts from another dimension began to devour the Fisherman Chronicles.  So, Captain John and crew of tweekers make haste to save the Chronicles from being eaten - before they are lost, forever. 

Along the way they meet many different characters which sometimes aid in Captain John's quest , such as Professor Nutbutter, Tommy the Cat and The 'Ol Diamondback Sturgeon.  There are others that oppose Captain John and want to rid him of the seas, such as Sergeant Baker and his Puppy Army, the Island of Pig-heads, Frizzle Fry and Mr. Knowitall.

 These mishap adventures bring Captain John and crew to the edge of a cheese-rift in time, a final voyage where they must travel through dimensions to battle the Leviathan’s and stop them from eating all of Phondoo’s Fisherman Chronicles.




Captain John ( based on John the Fisherman ) is the main character and master of the vessel Stonehard.  He has an able body crew and sails the seas of cheese on the world known as  Phondoo. He may be ornery and weird but he is just and true.  He has sailed many seas and has faced many obstacles along the way.  Captain John protects the most ancient creatures of the deep and preaches the prophecies of the Fisherman Chronicles.  An ancient set of books left from the even more ancient fishermen who wrote them.  They are the most precious of things to men of cheese and are dug up as true treasures.  Captain John is the first of many fishermen to encounter the strange Leviathan creatures which are slowly eating up the books all across the world.  He sets out with his crew of tweekers, and other unique friends he meets along the way, to stop the strange beasts from devouring the Fisherman Chronicles.

The Blue Collar Tweekers ( based on the song ) are Captain John’s crew.  A group of working class blue men who may be a little tweeky but they keep up the ship and act as back bone to the captain.  They are constantly repairing and painting the ship and have a bad habit of using cheese; on this world, cheese has many uses, some of which are mind altering...

Mosquitoes - Les, Ler and Brain are stowaways on the ship.  At first they seem to enjoy messing around with the crew and such, but eventually they must earn their keep.  So they become the ship’s band. 

The Ol’ Diamondback Sturgeon ( based on the song ) is a wise and ancient fish which has never been captured by any man.  Some have come close but have never been able to out smart it.  Ol’ Diamondback has swam the far reaches of Phondoo’s seas and knows of many things.  It has even been near the Great Cheese-rift which has recently embellished itself to the southern pole.  The fish kept clear of this pulling cheese-rift but got close enough to see the horrors that came out of it.  He joins Captain John and acts as a guide through fogs and other such perils.

Floyd the Parrot ( based loosely on The year of the Parrot ) resides on the shoulders of Captain John.  Floyd can never give a straight answer to anyone and only sings out in metaphors and quotes from others.

Wynona and her Big Brown Beaver ( based on the song ) see the captain and crew while the ship is in a port.  Wynona is one of many women that has been in Captain John’s past and has waited for John’s return.  Her Beaver friend is now her companion and goes with her everywhere.  The captain agrees to allow them to join the ship’s compliment but only if she works as cook and her beaver makes itself useful... somehow.

Professor Nutbutter ( based on the song ) is a renown chemist, entomologist and creator of Old Nutbutter’s House of treats; a candy/magic shop  which deals in jams, sweets and mystical concoctions.  The Stonehard and crew pay him a visit on his island and ask him for scientific assistance with the bewildering stories of these Leviathans that have been eating the chronicles.  He joins the crew and acts as the ship’s scientist and sweets guy.  He eventually redesigns the ship and alters it to be space-worthy.

Tommy the Cat ( based on the song ) having been lost at sea and now washing through a cheesy bay on a raft ends up smashing into the bulkhead of the Stonehard.  The crew rescue him and bring him back to health.  Tommy is a cool cat and takes no jive from John.  But Tommy is unable to convince the captain to bring him to shore so he starts a gambling ring in the barracks.  Of course he has the hots for Wynona and  tries to win her heart, but the Beaver is a pesky bastard and doesn’t let anyone get too close. 



Frizzle Fry ( based on the song ) is a creature who lurks in the deepest seas of cheese.  A slimy bulbous head-thing who rises from the cheese and feeds on the charisma of fisherman.  It has no values and believes in nothing that it can’t eat.  It begins to eat at the ship, looking to stop the men and drain them of their charisma, but Captain John tricks the beast into letting them go by putting on a silly uniform that Frizzle Fry recognizes as an old friend... another captain entirely...

The island of Pigheads ( based on Pork Soda ) is a place where Captain John stops for provisions and discovers these pig-headed people who just won’t help him.  The Pigheads sit around in rooms littered with sausages, beer cans and mud.  They are too lazy to give their time to John and will not stop eating to give him their food.  The Blue collar tweekers trick the Pigheads by offering them a plate of special cheese brownies.  These in fact act as a depressant and leave the Pigheads asleep and unable to protect their food.  The Stonehard and crew set sail, galleys full.

Sergeant Baker and his Puppy Army ( based on Sgt. Baker and Too Many Puppies ) want to stop Captain John from saving the books, because their militaristic minds have no room for the moralistic knowledge that the Chronicles hold.  The books only speak of war in trying to prevent it.  To work together in harmony.  And Baker is trying to take over the world.  He will stop at nothing to keep John from savings the books.  Baker decides to make an alliance with Mr. Knowitall.

Mr. Knowitall ( based on the song ) is a rich power-hungry twerp who wants to control the entire world of it’s cheese, basically Phondoo’s worst bastard.  He thinks he knows everything and is the snobbiest person around.  Mr. Knowitall teams up with the Leviathans and helps direct them to Phondoo’s Hidden Chronicle Vaults, where the creatures begin to terrorize large cities ( a good place for Southbound Pachyderms to make an appearance ).  Mr. Knowitall gets flattened by debris of a tumbling building and Professor Nutbutter scoops him up and places him in a sealed tube.  Later, on the ship, Nutbutter tinkers with Knowitall’s body and mind and turns him back into the child that he is.

The Bastards ( based on Here come the Bastards ) are harpy type creatures which dive down on ships at sea and relieve their flatulent gases over the heads of crewmen.  They make an appearance just one time as a quick diversion and never return... or do they?

Mud ( based on My name is Mud ) is a towering muddy giant who finds the Stonehard and thinks that he can put the ship in a bottle.  But before he can do it he gets into a fight with another giant and places the ship back into the sea.

Leviathans ( based on this story ) are horrible giant vicious worm like creatures searching the universe with the need of feeding on the knowledge of men; in this case, The Fisherman Chronicles of Phondoo.  They are creatures yes, but they are also high sentient creatures as well.  That’s why they feed on the books, to satisfy their hunger for knowledge.  They pose a major threat to the intellect of Phondoo and what the chronicles represent.  Phondoo will ultimately fall under the dictatorship of Sergeant Baker and his Puppies if the Leviathans are not stopped in time;  stopped from removing the very intelligence of Phondoo.



Captain John, a stern fisherman, and his able bodied crew of Blue Collar Tweekers, a group of working class blue men who keep up the ship and act as back-bone to the Captain, ready the Stonehard to set sail for another day of fishing the seas of cheese.

While the Stonehard is in port, Wynona, a past lover of John, approaches the ship with her big brown Beaver.  She pleads for John to take her back and offers her services as cook.  John cannot refuse, so Wynona and Beaver join the crew.  John gives the order to leave port and the Stonehard sets sail for the open sea.

The Blue Collar Tweekers work readying fishing nets and such.  Wynona, enjoying the heat of the sun, removes her hat to let her hair blow in the wind and 3 mosquito stowaways fly out from under it.  The mosquitoes fly around the crew taunting and teasing while stinging them for a meal.  They make quite a commotion on board and are brought to the attention of Captain John.  John hates the idea of stowaways getting on his ship and has many ways of dealing with them, and in this case, he threatens to feed them to the Beaver if they don’t work for their keep.  Besides messing around with people, the mosquito’s only profession is playing music.  So John orders them to work off their stay as the ship’s band.

With the Stonehard far out at sea, the crew lays anchor and begins throwing out the fishing nets.  After a short time, the nets are full of fish and are pulled in by the Tweekers, but one net is snagged on something which pulls back.  The Tweekers all join in on an exhausting tug of war with the mysterious catch in the net.  When suddenly, in a blasting belch, Frizzle Fry, a bulbous head-thing who feeds on the charisma of men at sea, arises from inside the net and chews it apart.  The men fly onto their backs and Frizzle Fry attempts to break through the ship’s hull by ramming into it.  The Captain, with knowledge of how to defeat Frizzle Fry, leaves the main deck and enters his cabin.  The Tweekers try to fight off the creature  with oars and even throw in some fish to stop it, but they are over-powered by Frizzle Fry.  Some of the Tweekers fall victim to it and are stripped of their charisma.  Captain John returns to the deck and greets Frizzle Fry wearing a silly uniform resembling another captain entirely... crunch that is.  Frizzle Fry recognizes John as an old acquaintance and apologizes for feeding on some of the crew’s charisma.  It belches and gurgles as it leaves the ship for the lurking deep.  John removes the hat from the costume and comments on how Frizzle Fry always seems to easily fall for that trick.  John’s parrot Floyd, who only speaks in metaphorical quotes, says, “ I do believe in Captain Crunch... brock...”  and the crew gets back to work throwing out the fishing nets.

Late that night, a gigantic wall of lightning blasts and surges in the darkness.  The sea of cheese pulls into the wall of energy and a portal forms.  This portal of energy opens and emits a bright light.  Suddenly, giant vicious worm-like creatures plunge from out of the portal and into the sea of cheese.  The worms swim through the sea and approach a ship.  The first mate of this ship spots the worms and sounds the alarm, but he is too late.  The worms attack the ship, rip it apart, search through the rubble and find many books.  They devour the books and plunge back into the sea. 

The crew of the Stonehard are awakened by blasting bolts of lightning on the horizon.  They observe that the sea of cheese begins to swell and seems to pull in on itself from the direction of the lightning.  The Stonehard is pulled into this force and Captain John cautiously decides to order a course correction, turning the ship away from this strange occurrence.  The Captain orders “Bed down!”, and returns to his quarters to write down in his logs the strange tale of the pulling cheese and the blasting night sky.   

In the morning, the screeching cry of a cat awakens part of the crew including Wynona, who springs out of bed in concern.  She runs to the deck and looks down toward the sea to find Tommy the Cat, a real cool cat, sprawled across a raft, dehydrated and ill.  The Tweekers lower grappling hooks onto the raft and pull him up to the deck.  Wynona gives Tommy some water and a blanket and carries him to a room where she nurses his wounds, with the approval of the Captain of course.  Tommy wishes to thank Wynona for her help and tries to get close for a kiss.  But the Beaver, who is a pesky bastard, bites back and slows Tommy’s plans of winning Wynona’s heart. 

 Wynona serves breakfast in the galley.  The Tweekers eat and talk shop  while Tommy the Cat joins the Captain’s table, as a guest.  Tommy tells a tale of being lost at sea and of the strange lightning storm of last night.  He heard many strange noises out there all alone and is convinced that something is happening out in the sea.  He witnessed the sea of cheese pulling in on itself and also saw a ship that fell victim to giant worm-beasts.  He pleads for the Captain to take him to shore, but John, who has now grown more curious, orders the crew to return to the coordinates of last nights lightning storm.  There, he will investigate the wreckage of the attacked ship and the sighting of the worm-beasts.     

 After breakfast, Wynona brings it to John’s attention that the ship’s food supply is not adequate enough for her talented cooking and that they need to stop for provisions.  The Stonehard reaches an island where Captain John reluctantly agrees to stop for provisions and such.  The Captain and crew soon discover this island to be the home of pig-headed people who just won’t help anyone.  The Pigheads sit around in rooms littered with sausages, beer cans and mud.  They are too lazy to give their time to John and will not stop eating to give him their food.  The Blue collar tweekers, who have a talent for cooking up cheese recipes which are mind altering, trick the Pigheads by offering them a plate of special cheese brownies.  These in fact act as a suppressant and leave the Pigheads asleep and unable to protect their food.  The crew fill the galley and the Stonehard sets sail. 

The Stonehard is attacked by the Bastards, harpy women who dive down on ships at sea and relieve their flatulent gases over the heads of crewmen.  The harpies fly over the tweekers and irritate them with farts.  The Tweekers throw the Bastards some fish and they fly off.

After reaching the coordinates of the storm, the Stonehard soon approaches the ship’s wreckage that Tommy the Cat had spoke of.  Here, a great fish swims around the planks of wood that float to and fro.  It is the Ol’ Diamondback Sturgeon.  An ancient fish which swims the seas and has never been captured by any man.  Captain John greets this old respected adversary, and asks it for information about what might have occurred here last night.  Ol’ Diamondback tells of the blasting storm and how the sea of cheese seemed to be pulling into a great opening in the storm.  The Sturgeon kept clear of this pulling cheese-rift but got close enough to see the horrors that came out of it.  It saw giant worm-like beasts attack the ship, search through the rubble and feed on the ship’s Fisherman Chronicles.  Captain John, fearing the loss of any Fisherman Chronicles, asks Ol’ Diamondback for help in searching the seas for these worm creatures and the Sturgeon agrees.

A seagull wearing a flying ace’s cap circles overhead.  It watches and listens in on John’s conversation with Ol’ Diamondback. 

Meanwhile, in a secret stronghold, Mr. Knowitall, a rich power-hungry twerp who wants to control the entire world of it’s cheese, watches in on Captain John by means of hidden devices on his spying sea-gull.  Intrigued by these worm creatures, Mr. Knowitall contacts his assistant, Sergeant Baker, and orders him to assemble his Puppy Army in preparation for confronting the worms.    

Sergeant Baker wants to help Mr. Knowitall take over the world almost as much as his need to eliminate the Fisherman Chronicles.  Sergeant Baker opposes the Fisherman Chronicles because his militaristic mind has no room for the moralistic knowledge that the Chronicles hold.  The books only speak of war in trying to prevent it and to work together in harmony. If these worms aim to rid Phondoo of the Chronicles, Sergeant Baker will stop at nothing to keep Captain John from saving the books.  Sergeant Baker assembles his expendable Puppy Army and sets out in search for the worms.

Back on the Stonehard, the crew washes the deck while John searches through his treasure of Chronicles for a prophecy on the worm-beasts.  He comes across a volume foretelling of a great dimensional rift in space that brings giant hungry Leviathan beasts to Phondoo.  It goes on to mention grave danger in store for Phondoo and the Fisherman Chronicles.

Captain John’s only knowledge of the lifestyle of a worm, is that they are bait to fish.  He realizes that he needs the scientific help of his friend Professor Nutbutter, a renowned chemist, entomologist and the creator of Old Nutbutter’s House of treats; a candy/magic shop which deals in jams, sweets and mystical concoctions.  Captain John knows of Professor Nutbutter’s intellect and of his interest with worms and other crawling creatures.  Surely the Professor can think of some way of dealing with the Leviathans.  So Captain John changes course and heads for Nutbutter Island.

Along the way, the Stonehard is suddenly pulled out of the sea by Mud, a towering giant who searches the sea for things that he can collect.  He finds great excitement in scaring the crew and proposes to put the ship in a bottle.  Another giant surfaces from the cheese and also wants the ship.  He pushes Mud and demands he hand it over.  Mud puts the ship down into the sea and begins to fight this other giant.  While the two giants fight and argue endlessly, the Stonehard makes an escape and continues on course for Nutbutter Island. 

Arriving at Nutbutter Island, the crew anchors the Stonehard and the Captain rows to shore with  some Tweekers.  They are met by a monkey, Albert, who greets the Captain in English and begins to guide them to Professor Nutbutter’s laboratory.  The monkey is an experiment in which the Professor was attempting to raise the creature’s sentient level and was successful.  But the monkey shows a bit of an attitude when it comes to respecting men and gives Captain John a hard time.  Wynona smiles and offers the monkey a banana.  The monkey looks at her with a droll smile and replies, “No thanks, I don’t care for them…anymore.”

They are lead to the laboratory and are greeted by Professor Nutbutter,  a truly nutty professor, who runs around in a dizzying furry, dropping blueprints and scratching his head.  Captain John gives his Chronicles to the Professor and explains what has been happening.  Nutbutter looks through the books, mentions hearing of other ships that have been falling victim to the same creatures and reads through the correct volume in an instant.  The Professor comes to a conclusion that the Leviathans feed on knowledge and are here to eat the Fisherman Chronicles, the most treasured knowledge of Phondoo. The Professor has the Tweekers pack his laboratory into the Stonehard and happily joins Captain John in the quest to stop these over-sized book-worms.

The Leviathans crush through a dense forest and break through to a small  town.  People scream and scatter the streets as the great worm-beasts storm through home after home, looking for books.  The Leviathans break into a library and feast themselves full.

Sergeant Baker leads a group of tanks through the town and arrives at the Library.  Sergeant Baker orders his Puppy Army to drive a compartment of books over to the Leviathans.  The Puppies reluctantly salute and whimper a sigh as they get in the compartment’s jeep.  They drive over to the Leviathans and dump the books on the ground.  One of the beasts slithers it’s head down to the pile of books and eats a few.  The worm reaches out over Sergeant Baker’s head, lowers it’s head down and breathes on him.  Sergeant Baker considers an alliance made and pulls the tanks away.

Back on the Stonehard, Professor Nutbutter starts designs for re-fitting the ship to be space-worthy.  He believes that once the Leviathans have eaten all of the books, stripping Phondoo of it’s knowledge, the worms will probably return to the temporal cheese-rift from once they came. Captain John would need to take the Stonehard through the temporal cheese-rift to deal with the Leviathans on their own turf.   

The Ol’ Diamondback Sturgeon returns from scanning information from the seas of cheese and warns Captain John that Mr. Knowitall has lead the Leviathans just off the coast of Punchbowl City, the location of the Great Chronicle Vaults.  Captain John frantically changes course for the city and the Tweekers set the Stonehard at full sail.

Mr. Knowitall and Sergeant Baker help direct the Leviathans through Punchbowl City toward the Vaults.  The creatures begin to terrorize the city looking for books when a few Southbound Pachyderms fly down from out of the sky and wage a fight on the Leviathans.  Several buildings crumble to the ground and Mr. Knowitall and Sergeant Baker get flattened by debris of a tumbling building.  The Pachyderms are easily eliminated and the Leviathans arrive at the Vaults and begin eating.

Captain John and crew arrive at the Vaults to find them empty and the Leviathans gone.  Professor Nutbutter finds Mr. Knowitall and Sergeant Baker as flat as pancakes.  He scoops them up, places them in sealed test-tubes and plans of experimenting on them later in his lab.

Back at the Stonehard, Captain John has the Tweekers start re-fitting the ship as per Professor Nutbutter’s specifications.  The Tweekers work in a frenzy welding and fitting the ship with rocket-blasters and an atmospheric bubble shield.  While the Tweekers work on re-fitting the Stonehard, Professor Nutbutter tinkers with the bodies of Mr. Knowitall and Sergeant Baker and turns them back into the children that they once were.  With the re-fit complete, the Stonehard rockets out of port and heads for the sea.

The Leviathans swim through the sea of cheese, making their way back to the portal location.

Captain John and full compliment of crew, enjoy a last meal/party in the galley before they go to battle with the Leviathans.  All of the tweeky additions to the crew are present and the band plays on.

The ship arrives at the portal and hovers high above it.  The crew leave the galley and head for their positions.  The Tweekers load the cannons and man them for battle.   Captain John orders that the Stonehard enter the portal at his command and they wait for the Leviathans.

The Leviathans swim closer to the portal in the horizon.  The portal is activated and the bursting storm pulls at the seas of cheese once again. 

A look-out on the Stonehard sounds the alarm that the Leviathans are near.  The Leviathans swim through the sea and into the portal.  The Captain gives the command and the Stonehard follows the Leviathans into the portal.  The Stonehard flies through a bright-colored fast-moving worm-hole and ends up in space and in orbit around the Leviathan’s home world. 

The Leviathans see the Stonehard and begin to approach it.  The Captain gives the order to fire and the cannons blast out at the Leviathans.  The battle begins, and a mighty battle at that.  The Stonehard’s cannons pound at the worms and come close to defeating them, until the worms can no longer fight off the blasting cannons and are forced to reveal their true nature. The Leviathans are sentient beings and beg for a truce, surrendering themselves to Captain John. 

The Leviathans explain that they are an ancient race of high sentient creatures that search the galaxy feeding on books to satisfy their hunger for knowledge.  They are sorry for eating the Fisherman Chronicles and only wish to end this predicament that they have gotten into.  

Professor Nutbutter comes up with a brilliant idea for solving this dilemma.  The Leviathans are to give the Professor their excrement so that he can run a detailed DNA analysis to extract the genetic structure of the Fisherman Chronicles.  The Leviathans agree to the idea and hand over their excrement.  They promise never to visit Phondoo again and slither down towards their planet. 

Professor Nutbutter is successful with the experiment and extracts all of the Fisherman Chronicle information contained in the excrement.  For he is a Entomologist… and knows of these things. 

As punishment for assisting the Leviathans, and as a form of rehabilitation,  Mr. Knowitall and Sergeant Baker, who are now children, are assigned to use the extracted DNA information to re-write all of the Fisherman Chronicles back into book form.  They sit at desks in the ship’s lab, a temporary classroom, and are instructed by their teacher, Wynona, to begin the long task of re-writing the Fisherman Chronicles back into the thousands of empty books that fill the room.  The Beaver acts as teacher’s pet to make sure they do their homework.

The Stonehard heads back through the portal and arrives at the sea of cheese.  The portal closes and Captain John orders the Stonehard be rocketed back to the Great Chronicle Vaults of Punchbowl City.  The Stonehard’s rockets engage and the ship blasts away into the sunset. 

The end